My mother is my role model, my mentor and my cheerleader throughout the twists and turns on my path through life. As the first Mother’s Day of my new blog approaches, I would like to thank her. So much of who I am is because of my mother and all that she has instilled in me.
My mother taught me to say “Thank you. I appreciate it”
Growing up, my mother expected us to be appreciative. When someone would do something for us, my mother would stand by and wait until we said “thank you”. Then, she would prompt the next line by saying “I aaaa…” until we would volunteer “I appreciate it”. When Kaitlyn, my eldest daughter, was little, she once thanked someone by saying “thank you”. The “thank you” activated the little child in me and I prompted, “I aaaa”. To which little Kaitlyn completed the sentence..”I aaa big girl!”
My mother is my role model in tenacity
My mother decided to attend college when I was in fourth grade. Attending college for a woman with four little kids was quite a feat, especially because my mother had never taken an academic program in high school. She was missing the basics of mathematics and writing skills. I remember tutoring my mother in algebra and helping her complete her college essays. It took my mother 8 years to earn her Bachelors degree and another 6 years to complete law school. Her J.D. took her 14 years in total, but she never gave up. Her vibrant law practice today is a product of her hard work and tenacity.
My mother taught me about being creative
My mother worked as a teacher while attending university. She took us to college with her in the evenings, buying my younger brother candy bars in the bookstore in exchange for a guarantee from him that he would not disturb her during class. That bribery worked…most of the time.
My mother taught me about feeling rich, even when we had very little
My mother was always an excellent money manager. She managed to save money (and interest in those days was 10%), even while working, raising her children, supporting my father in kollel (full-time Torah study) and attending college. We were the best dressed kids in town, because my mother knew where to procure the best hand-me-downs. We thought that everyone ate scrambled eggs and cereal for dinner. It saved us loads of money and we grew up just fine.
My mother taught me to stop, smell, and plant the roses
My mother’s green thumb is legendary. Her friends would give her small cuttings of their indoor plants and she would raise those cuttings until they were six feet tall. We always had the most lovely garden with roses, vegetables and beautiful shrubs. My mother even inspired the local nursery to donate shrubs and trees to beautify our apartment complex. She was fascinated by the healthy effects of oxygen-Co2 exchange that plants offer and she definitely instilled in me a great love of plants and flowers.
My mother taught me to upcycle, even when it was embarrassing to reuse.
I remember my mother taking used wrapping paper and ribbon, folding them neatly and saving them for the next gift she wrapped. My mother still takes the paper napkins, sugar and Splenda packets home from a restaurant meal. She recycles glass pickle jars for her fruit compote. We used newspapers as placemats at the supper table and I was horrified. Today, her reusing strategies have formed the basis for my upcycling strategies and designs.
My mother is my biggest cheer leader
In high school, I was asked to compete for my school and my county in a state-wide Ohio science competition. I scored third. My mother told all of our friends and relatives that I was the winner and I was mortified when gifts, cards and phone calls streamed in from so many of the people we knew. I had not even told my mother that I had placed in the competition. You see, my mother was not stretching the truth. She really believed that I was her winner. The self-esteem that comes from a parent believing in you that way is a lifelong gift.
My mother is my toughest and gentlest critic
Not much goes by my mother. When she has what to say, she lets me know. Since it comes with the understanding that I am her winner, I know that I have to pay attention.
My mother taught me about creating peace, even when it hurts
My mother has worked hard to foster peace, even with people who have hurt her. It is one the things that I most respect and appreciate in her. She has sacrificed so much for peace and it is one of my core values because of her.
My mother taught me about connecting with our Creator, in good times and especially in challenging times
My mother is a woman of great emunah (faith). She has taught me about the power of personal tefilla (prayer), both from the siddur (Jewish prayer book) and spontaneously from the heart. My mother is a criminal lawyer who often compares the courtroom in this world to the heavenly court that will greet us in the next world. She utters a spontaneous prayer before going into her court cases and davens (prays) with great kavana (concentration) for herself, her family and those who need tefillos (prayers). I feel that her tefillos are powerful because of her intense belief and confidence that her prayers will be answered. My mother expresses constant gratitude to G-d for all that she has and for everything that is good and beautiful in our world.
When I look in the mirror, I see someone who has been raised by my mother, but has much still to learn and emulate.
Thanks, Mom, for all that you are and all that you do.
Happy Mother’s Day!