Leah’s Smelly Drunken Bridesmaid Dress

Who knew that a gown could benefit from a few shots of vodka?

Leah was asked to be a bridesmaid recently and she asked my opinion if she should accept.  Personally,  I am not a fan of bridesmaids for so many reasons.  I don’t like the stress, drama, cost and showiness inherent in having bridesmaids at weddings.  So, I expressed my rather strong opinions on the matter to Leah.

And, Leah countered my negative bridesmaids views with arguments like, “it’s important for the bride”, “this one is an easy color to find and useful for future weddings” and “it should not create any stress at all.”

To which I conceded and told her that the final decision was hers.  And, that I would stand by whatever decision she made.

But, I knew from the beginning that was not going to be as easy as she led me (and herself) to believe.

The color scheme was metallic.  Leah already had a gorgeous gold dress given to her one of her friends.  The gown was expensive and heavily beaded with classic styling.  She asked me what I thought.  “Beautiful,” “classic”  and “free” were some of the adjectives that I used to describe the gown.  I thought the gold gown fit Leah beautifully and that we were done.

Leah disagreed.  And, I knew we were in trouble.

Leah asked her cohorts to advise her on the gold gown.  They all agreed with Leah that the gold gown was just not right for her.

So, Leah found two more gowns to try.  The first gown was an Amazon special in just the right color.  The second gown was a rose gold beaded bridesmaid gown in her size being sold by a former bridesmaid in the Midwest.  She worked out a price and shipping and a few days later both the Midwest gown and the Amazon gown arrived.

The Amazon gown was constructed of slinky cheap material and the Midwest gown was perfect except that it was a tad short for Leah’s 5’9″ height.  After some more consultation with friends and co-workers,  Leah decided to keep the Midwest gown and chose the perfect shoes to wear with the dress.  Everything seemed right in the world of bridesmaid gowns.

Often, there is the calm before the storm.  And, sure enough, the winds started up again on the morning of the wedding.  I woke up and Leah was right there with an offer.  “If you can help me with this challenge, I’ll let you write it up on your blog.”

Now, that was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

It seemed that Leah hadn’t noticed that the Midwest gown arrived with a stench that was unbearable.  Somehow, with all the try-ons and consultations, no one had noticed that the gown had an odor.  Overnight, Leah had already tried everything she knew to remove the odor unsuccessfully.

So, I did some research.  And, the research came up with the following diluted suggestions: lemon juice, baking soda and vodka.  I tried them incrementally.  First, I tried a solution of lemon juice and water.  That helped a bit.  Then, I added some baking soda to the solution.  That helped a bit more.  Finally, I soaked the armpits of the lining in a  solution of vodka.  I pinned a few dryer sheets on the armpits and put the dress outside to dry.

And, thankfully, the tale of the Smelly Drunken Bridesmaid Dress was over after a few shots of diluted vodka.

 

 

INSTRUCTIONS:

To remove smell from clothing without washing, try any combination of the following steps.  Test a small unnoticeable area first to ascertain how it will affect the color of the garment.

(1) Create a solution of equal parts of lemon juice and water.  Use a brush to apply to smelly area or dip the garment in the lemon juice solution.

(2) Add a teaspoon of baking soda to the lemon juice solution created in #1.  Use a brush to apply to smelly area or dip the garment in the solution.

(3) Combine 3 parts of vodka and  2 parts of water.  Use a brush to apply to smelly area or dip the garment in the solution.

(4) Pin dryer sheets to the affected area.

 

 

 

 

4 comments

  1. What a pretty dress and prett(ier) girl! Leah looks beautiful. And Tzippy, you’re a genius and great mother, always figuring out solutions👍

    Like

  2. Thanks, Evelyn. Sometimes the most outrageous solutions are the best. The most amazing part was that the Vodka dried with no alcohol smell at all!

    Like

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